slowly fading away

Shut your eyes tightly
Clench your fists 'til they almost bleed

I was 300 something days clean and fucked it all up, feeling really numb and scared at the same time.

I can’t fight this feeling I really wanna cut right now

I can’t say anything without being told I’m wrong or being told to shut up

I don’t want to go to school I can’t tell you how much this scares me that I may have to do anything over again if I fail.

Alright I’m all about not being judgmental but I’m still allowed to have my own opinion and when sharing that opinion I shouldn’t be told I’m wrong and or I’m just to Sensitive. If anyone els said what I said you would agree. Also telling me I’m still young I’m fucking 18 just cause your 20 doesn’t mean shit you drink and do stupid crap all the time. Like your gonna judge me for having a Negative opinion about someone that’s nice!

This is why my dad in an ass hole
I really can’t stand him!

I have only told one person ever about my self harm, he pretty much stopped being my friend slowly after I told him, it’s really fucked up that you can tell someone you Basically love them but them walk away like you don’t care like your to cool!
I wanna call he out on it so bad but what good would that do!

I’m starting to think I will have to do this on my own, I can’t be who I am with all these people telling me I’m a fuck up, I was to Nervous and anxious about going bowling today with People from my church That think I’m an idiot much! I started to cry. I can’t handle this all I wanna do is stop just be normal feel normal but I’m so fucked up I can’t even think Straight. My friends don’t even talk to me anymore I don’t know what to do